jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
