I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
