Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
