I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
