There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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