I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize