I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
