he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
