I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
