is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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