We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
