At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Randomize
