So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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