Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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