So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
