she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
