The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
