I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize