I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize