love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
