Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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