its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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