I just cut my nipple shaving
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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