My first STD was from a foam party
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
