What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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