No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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