But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
this is an emotional support booty call
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
