hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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