they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
