i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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