I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
