after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
