Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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