You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
