Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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(850): View more from Florida

when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.

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(512): View more from Texas

no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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(914): View more from New York

can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?

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(561): View more from Florida

If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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