You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
