check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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