Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
