Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
