thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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