she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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