Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
