I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
