Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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