butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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