Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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