There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize