he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
