you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
