So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i think i just lost a toe
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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