Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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