I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
where are you?
Hypothermia
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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