i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
