There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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