that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
