I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize