so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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