i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
