We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
