D3 body, D1 cock
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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