Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
