bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
