Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
