he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
