we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
