It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
