everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
