I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
