so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
