Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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