He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
