Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
kristin has been a bad kristin
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
