1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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