mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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