i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
